Truth Telling for My 2022 Graduates

May 21 was a very special day for the Class of 2022 from my school. Graduation day. Faculty and staff in my district worked diligently for the past thirteen years to ensure that this day would happen for our students. I know their families are excited and feeling bittersweet emotions connected to a day of commencement. I am proud of these graduates, and following tradition, I wrote a poem for my students and shared it with them earlier in the week before their ceremony. Actually, this year’s poem turned into a second one as well. The message is the same, but my advice moved into a personal connection in the 2.0 version. 

My grandmother kept succulents, known as mother hen and chicks in our family. Even though she passed when I was four years old, I have always felt a connection to her through these plants. I took a few from the home my grandfather shared with her when I married and started my life as an adult. Since then, I’ve had descendants from her plants at every home my husband and I have inhabited, and I’ve given away hundreds of them because sharing makes the original plants more prosperous. I imagine that’s how my grandmother’s love is still moving through me. That’s how love works. 

Each member of my current class of graduates received a chick from my home. They carried those little babies around all day, caring for them already. Likewise, I want my students to know that God loves them and cares for them with great strength.

My prayer is for my words to be encouraging and be a reminder to all who read them. The poems are to honor the Class of 2022, but I hope they can be a blessing to all readers. 

To this year’s second period gang, Congratulations, my loves!

You Know I Tell You the Truth 1.0

The days and months and years that lay ahead 
of you will be full of challenges. You will make plans 
and work to fulfill dreams of which 
only some will come to fruition. 
Problems will be in those future days. 
You will believe the best of life will come 
when you finish school or 
fall into a new love 
or become healthier or secure the new job. 
But don’t trust those lies 
whether you say them or someone tries to convince you.

You can’t just be anything you want to be. 
You won’t save another person from their own choices. 
You shouldn’t expect flowers and rainbows 
to fill your universe with opportunity. 
You won’t see a perfect path paved and ready 
for your diligent and sincere efforts to 
shape the life you intend to live. 
This old world is far bigger
 and treacherous and set in its ways 
than you can imagine. 
You might search for an item or a guru or a pill
when the pressure lays on your lungs. 
If your mind is passive, you will struggle to 
breathe the next breath.

You know I tell you the truth. 

So, what’s the plan to survive in the next moments or
days or months or years? 
A secret I know can help you. 
Will you commit to an active, attentive mind? 
A turn from frivolous notions, 
from a passive observation of yourself? 

When you think
…your efforts should guarantee success
…other people keep you from gaining ground
…the world’s red tape and rules force you into 
a holding pattern
…your gossip and drama are harmless
…all of the pressures push against you, then

Change your conduct which will 
Change your thinking which will
Change your feelings which creates

Hope.

Prove your hope against whatever 
the world throws at you by 
first changing your own actions. 

The secret of hope is more powerful 
than the darkness of this world. 
Overcome the hard seasons and cling to hope 
and family and joy 
even in the middle of difficult times.

You don’t need to conform to your past ignorance, 
squeezed into the culture around you. 
You don’t have to worry about being liked or noticed or powerful. 
Choose actions that prove your knowledge and character. 
Choose to be kind and loving and honorable. 
Help without being asked. 
Show others patience and honesty and sincerity. 

I promise that in your future, bad events will happen, 
so don’t be surprised or angry or hurt. 
Humans flounder.
In these moments, you can turn negative into hope, 
respond with gentleness and respect,
be different from the crowd. 

I don’t subscribe to the secret of hope at times. 
In the misery of problems, my actions take 
my mind into a dark place where my emotions 
suffocate me. 
I can’t find hope in this place, and you won’t find it there, either. 

So, focus your actions to direct your mind and emotions
and find your hope.

Hope is the answer. 

You are on this fast-spinning earth for a reason. 
You have a mission and a group of people who need you. 
Your butterfly effect will change the world. 

You know I tell you the truth.


Lori Vandeventer
May 15, 2022


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truth 2.0: The Mother Hen and Chicks

The mother hen sat alone
waiting.
Her chicks would soon depart, and she
wondered 
what she would tell them about
challenges, plans, 
and work to fulfill dreams 
of which only some will come true. 

She is certain of future trials 
for her chicks,
certain some will believe
the old lies of how the best of life 
will finally arrive--when
they crack open from the shell or 
fall into a new love 
or roam far from the safety of her wings. 
The mother hen knows to not
trust those lies 
no matter whose hungry mouths say the words.

This old world is far bigger
and treacherous and set in its ways 
than any chick can imagine. 

So, what’s the plan to survive in the next moments or
days or months or years? 
A secret the mother hen knows. 
Requiring an active, attentive mind, 
a turn from frivolous notions, 
from a passive observation. 

A change of conduct will 
change thinking which will
change feelings which creates

Hope.

The secret of hope is more powerful 
than the darkness of this world. 

The mother hen knows to choose actions 
of knowledge and character, 
of kindness and love and honor. 
She wants her chicks to help 
without being asked,
to show patience and honesty and sincerity. 

Future, bad events will happen
to her chicks.
Still, she doesn’t want them
surprised or angry or hurt. 

In these moments, the negative can turn into hope
if her chicks
respond with gentleness and respect,
differently from the crowd. 

As the mother hen sits alone, she remembers
when she didn’t subscribe to the secret of hope. 
In the misery of problems, her actions led
into a dark place where 
emotions suffocated. 
Neither mother hens nor chicks
find hope in that place.

But, she knows how it feels to focus actions,
direct her mind and emotions
and find hope.
She knows that her chicks will 
sprout up,
peeking, at first, and then pushing through to surround her,
filling the space with beauty.
Her chicks, smart and capable, will 
continue, circle after circle, to 
choose actions
and adjust their thinking to settle their emotions into
hope.

Hope is the answer. 

Her chicks are on this fast-spinning earth for a reason 
with a mission.
And the mother hen knows their
butterfly effect 
will change the world. 


Lori Vandeventer
May 15, 2022

An Open Letter to Parents about Virtual Learning

18 March 2020

Dear Auspicious Parents,

Bless your hearts. We teachers see you and appreciate you.

In these days of forced eLearning, you are stepping into the gap for us. I know that you might not have a full cabinet of supplies at home and that you will be meeting your own work responsibilities while you are now also sitting with your students. Suddenly, you will be the teacher, disciplinarian, tech support, cafeteria staff, recess monitor, librarian, and janitor. I know that you will be doing your best for your children, and I encourage you to not accept all of these roles for yourself.

From the youngest to the oldest students, your children can step up to help you. Let them make their own lunch and clean up their own messes. After the novelty of this situation wears off and they try to procrastinate and push their work to the side, stay strong. Teachers spend many hours developing classroom management tactics to ensure smooth communication about responsibilities at school, but you have parenting experience on your side. No one knows your children as well as you do. Meet them at the table each day to do the work. You can find many helpful, age appropriate resources that will offer suggestions about setting up a schedule and keeping students focused on their learning.

Beyond those, here are a few suggestions for your older students:

~Find the balance between using technology for school and for social purposes. Many of us teachers make your children put away their phones during class. Even the seniors. We do not allow social networking sites, games, or random “research.” Be aware of what your kids are watching online during school time. Very long, winding rabbit holes are literally at every click and will distract even the best of us. Be prepared to take away the phones. The students will question you but be resilient. You’ve got this.

~Keep the responsibility for organizing and learning squarely on your children’s shoulders. You are not on our class rosters, so you are not expected to do this work. We are providing instruction, and your students will have to be more independent now than ever before. This process can actually be beneficial for the students because they will be more skilled with self-learning than any group before them. Think about how much you’ve had to teach yourself in your adult life. Consider this on-the-job-type training for them.

~Stay out of the emotional arena. You love your kids more than anyone, and they know that. You all know exactly which buttons to push to make each other crazy, and honestly, I fully expect your children to try pushing those buttons before this whole event is back to normal. My best teacher advice for you is to not get emotional. When you show emotions of frustration, anger, confusion, hesitation? They win. It’s that easy. Thirty years of teaching makes me know I’m right on this one. Be stoic during class time. Make them figure it out and do the work. If you refuse to be emotional, their #1 weapon against eLearning will be taken away.

~Be fully interested in their subjects, even if you aren’t. The absolute best gift you can give your students is your full attention when they are explaining what they are learning. All teachers hear so very many stories each day about the subjects that fascinate your kids. The very best of us listen and engage completely in those conversations, making each student think we are just as invested in the subject as they are. Even if you don’t like science, watch and listen as your student completes a lab. Ask questions. If you have no idea what manga is, get comfy and learn. The most important piece you bring to this virtual learning experience is falling in love with the work that your students are doing. Your interest will spur them forward, and you will be amazed at how much they enjoy learning and teaching about their favorite subjects.

We teachers are trying to create lesson plans that will meet standards and allow your children to keep learning through this pandemic. While we are working on our end to learn how to develop and implement the eLearning processes, we have your children in mind. Please know that we miss them. We miss their humor and their ability to surprise us with such wisdom for young people. We are excited that you will get to see your children in this way, too.

Good luck with this new adventure. You can do this!

Blessings to you,

Van